What Blurting Out Leads To
by Tvmatchmaker795
Summary: He is a mess. She is a mess. Each of their lives are spiraling out of control. When an absent minded comment is blurted out, will it give each of them a chance to find a way to heal? Time does heal all wounds but what if it isn't fast enough for these two?
1. Chapter 1

_**So first Kyle XY fanfic. Hopefully this won't suck and it will remind us of why we loved that show. I know the pair I am writing about is probably the last thing on everyone's mind at the end of the series but I just needed to explore where it might have gone. Review if you think I might be on to something or if you have thought about this too. :]**_

* * *

There was something different about him: the way he slumped when he was making coffee or the way he wouldn't sarcastically banter with anyone that he normally would, like her. Andy had realized that although he was trying his hardest, Josh couldn't handle not being with her everyday, and so she ended it. She had been there. She had seen the held back tears and the swearing at the computer. Sadly she watched it unfold because it happened, not privately, at The Rack. Immediately after Andy had said the words, Amanda realized she had to close the store whether or not she could. She saw that Josh was restraining himself for the sake of the customers and the vain was protruding out of his neck that was of a sign of it. As soon as the bell sounded as a sign to say the last customer was out, the whole place erupted with the sound of his scream. At first she was hesitant to stay but then, right as she was about to slip out the back, she caught Andy's eye out of the corner of her eye. Although it was only communicated through a computer screen, Amanda realized that she had to stay and help Josh. That look passed between them was the last thing she or Josh saw before his screen went black. Josh couldn't handle it: he started yelling at the screen that he loved her and he would find her. She had to physically stand in Josh's way to stop him from leaving and driving away, determined to reach Andy. It was intimidating at first, staring into the eyes of a boy who had his heart broken but was drowning in denial, but it got better when the energy of yelling and restraining the tears had gotten to Josh and he just sat down. The last thing she saw was Josh being lifted up by his dad and whisked away to his home.

So that is how they got here; a month into it and nothing had changed. The first week she had expected it but she thought being around Kyle and his optimistic outlook would help maybe a little but it didn't. She had been surprised when he showed up to work the next day, determined as ever to ignore the previous event and bury himself in work. She even thought that he worked every day the first week and a half until Mrs. Traeger pulled in her mom authority and restricted his working hours to only 4 days a week.

It got better though. Amanda finally got to see a smile, not a genuine one but a smile none the less. She could see the frustration growing in Josh when a girl tried to aimlessly flirt with him but he remained calm. When the girl was about to give him her number that is when she saw it: a polite smile that didn't reach his eyes as he told the girl that he couldn't. It startled her, even brought a little hope that he would maybe be improving but she realized he was trying to spare the girl anything, no matter how small it was, like he felt by being rejected or dumped.

But what really is shocking her most is the way she misses his smile, his witty sarcasm, and the way he tries to light up the room no matter what. Like right now, she is staring at him, waiting for him to mystically to change back to him old self and make the feeling go away.

"I can feel you staring you know." The sound of Josh's voice pushes away all the thoughts crowding her mind. A couple weeks ago, Josh might have said that with a charming yet annoying ego but there was nothing besides dry truthfulness and a slight hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Just wondering when you will stop living in this place and get a life." Amanda says that with the most playful tone she can swing right now. Josh turns from his spot at the cashier's counter and looks at her with no amusement. It hurts her to see him filled with unhappiness. They are friends yet Josh can't help but push her away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Well thank you to the one reviewer... I am going to continue even if there aren't a lot of reviews but it would help A TON if i knew people enjoyed reading this. Thanks. REVIEW!**

"I don't live here. I would if my mom would let me. Oh and I don't need a life. Having a life is for saps that don't have jobs." Josh hears the bitterness seep into his voice. He feels the heartbreak influence how he treats others but its too hard not to put up barriers.

"Kyle has a life but he's had a lot of jobs… I guess if you look at it that way." Amanda tries to help him, Josh can see that but he also sees her losing hope too. _Good, maybe if everyone got that hint too._ His sardonic thought is immediately shoved aside when he blurts the next thing that comes to mind that he is used to doing.

"Well Kyle has Jessi. If I had Jessi as a girlfriend, it would be like a job too." Josh's eyes go wide open as Amanda pales and turns away from him, obviously hurt. It had only been a couple days since the big showdown between Jessi and Amanda for Kyle. The showdown consisted of both girls standing on opposite sides of Kyle and a poor Kyle stuck with the choice. The past weeks had been filled with Kyle going on tons of dates with each of the girls. And finally the jealousy both had been feeling got enough and they made him choose. He saw the whole thing, it was on their front lawn, so how could he not watch? He had no idea how or why Kyle choose Jessi but Kyle had gone to Amanda, the hope lost for Jessi, and he gently kissed her on the forehead and said sorry. The rest didn't need to be recapped, the whole night was filled with loving glances from both Jessi and Kyle as the whole family adjusted to it.

So now, Josh just made the most asshole move and rubbed it in Amanda's face. He couldn't help it if the remark just slipped out. He wanted to keep it in his head and keep moping for a while but clearly that wasn't an option now.

"I- I am so sorry Amanda. I didn't mean to say it." Josh feels his legs moving him towards his friend, but he can't recall wanting to move. And suddenly he is there. He is behind her and gathering 20 seconds of courage like that cheesy Disney movie said to do, he turned Amanda around. The tears were brimming in her eyes and he hates seeing girls cry so he blurted another thing without thinking.

"Would you want to play G-force with me tonight after work?" The look on Josh's face when he said that surprised her more. Amanda realized he was as shocked by the invitation as she was. She could tell he just said that because she was almost crying. It hurt what he said; she didn't think he could be that cruel.

"You hadn't meant to say that either so it's okay." She quietly said to him. Glancing down at the drink she was making, she realized she screwed up the drink. "Damn it." Amanda murmurs under her breath. She can't get distracted by Josh. Just as she was about to start all over again, she felt hands grab her waist. She would be lying it she said it didn't feel good, even for that moment. The hands gently moved her to the side and she looked up to see Josh take his hands off her and start making the drink she screwed up on. Her face probably was like Kyle's confused yet curious look. The thought of Kyle looking at Jessi like that made her insides cringe and turn her head away from Josh.

"I may not have meant to say it but I think we both need it. You are on the path that I started a couple weeks ago. I don't want to see you hurt." He says that in such a low voice that Amanda's ears strain to hear it and even though she did, it still feels like he didn't say it. When he said that, she couldn't help but glance back at him. She found herself staring into Josh's hazel eyes. She swears she saw him glimpse at her lips but that could be her imagination. So she shakes off the moment, afraid of what any of it could mean, by smiling at him and telling him that she would be at his house at 7.

"I can set up my stuff at your house… if you want." He goes back to staring at the drink, which has long been done. She can tell there is something he is not saying.

"Why does it matter?" Amanda tries to keep the tone light but she can't help the concern becoming laced into it. Josh's eyes look back at hers, trying to determine whether or not she could handle what he had to say. Sighing, he tells her the truth.

"Well, ummmm, Kyle and Jessi have gotten into this ritual of causing random spurts of a power outage after dinner. You know, when they- ummm." His message couldn't be clearer. The information that Jessi and Kyle make out, and they cause the power to overload almost overpowers her. She feels her breathing start to grow shallow, a sign of her crying not being in control like she wanted. Closing her eyes, Amanda tries to focus on other things but it doesn't work. Suddenly she feels those hands again turn her and pull her into a warm chest. It feels like her brain doesn't know what to make of it. Josh does not seem in the mood for hugs.

Josh hesitantly pulls Amanda into an embrace. He really was not in the mood to hug anyone but she needed it. He can feel a lump in his throat when the memory of Andy's amazing hugs starts to arise but the feeling of Amanda wrapping her arms around her and relaxing into his arms stops it. _Huh, apparently I needed this too._ With that thought, Josh lowers his head and rests it on Amanda's head. Hugging someone feels amazing: he hasn't had any physical contact with anyone in a while. And as soon as that thought comes up, something else happens that he did not want to happen. Josh freaks out and as gently but as quickly as he can, shoves Amanda off him. He hurries to grab the drink and bring it to the waiting customer. He politely smiles at the guy and speed walks to the patio where Declan is. He immediately closes the door and sits with his back to the window, where he knows Amanda is giving him a look she learned from Kyle.

"Hey dude, what's up?" Declan casually says, unaware of Josh's current problem. Josh roughly smacks the magazine out of Declan's hands. "Hey! Not cool."

"You know what is not cool? This." Josh glances nervously around at the one other customer in the patio and decides it's safe. He quickly points to his pants but stops when Declan doesn't get the hint. "I have an- ummmm." That got the message across. Josh sees recognition and pity slip its way onto Declan's face.

"That hasn't happened to you in a while man, not since Andy left. What happened?" The mention of Andy's name hurts and causes whatever was going on in his pants to reverse its state. He lets out a sigh of relief.

"I don't know. I- I was giving Amanda a hug and then little Josh decided to make an appearance." Josh ignores the obvious look Declan gives him that asks what are you doing with Kyle's ex. "It wasn't like that, man. She was about to cry because I was an idiot and brought up Jessi and Kyle making out so I gave her a hug. I didn't know what else to do!"

"Whoa, calm down there. It's okay. Amanda is just your friend right? Your body was just confused…" Declan peeks over Josh's shoulder to see Amanda conversing with Hillary. Both of them were sending glances their way, specifically at Josh.

"I can't help it! It been a while since I've had physical contact with anyone outside my family and Jessi when she accidently kicked me. But that's not the point. I shouldn't get… that… especially when being with Amanda." Josh rests his head in his hands and lets out a loud groan of annoyance. Just as he might forget about the whole thing and fall asleep, his arms get shoved and his head lands heavily on the table. "What did you do that for?" He snarls at Declan.

"Amanda and Hillary are looking over here. They might think you regret hugging or whatever you did to help Amanda. Hillary assumes those things and puts them into peoples head like poison. So go over there and don't be an asshole." Declan starts to pull the chair out from beneath Josh but he stops it by standing up abruptly. He growls something about sleep that Declan can't hear.

"Hey! At least you aren't being all sad and moping." Declan calls out to him as he is leaving the patio.

"In the midst of a crisis!" Josh calls back and starts walking slowly over to Amanda and Hillary. He is trying to think of things to say because blurting really isn't working for him but nothing comes up. All he can think about is how Amanda must think he is some bipolar jerk who plays with her emotions. Taking a deep breath, Josh finally reaches the two girls. He is about to say something but he realizes that Hillary is still there. He sends a rude glare Hillary's way and that gets the girl to leave in a huff.

She talked it over with Hillary and they both agreed it was a weird move.

"I mean, he did this really sweet thing and it felt nice but then he pushed me. Why would he do that?" She says to Hillary, clearly hurt. Amanda glances over at Josh, who is talking to Declan, and knows Hillary's eyes follow her gaze.

"Don't worry about it, sweetie. I'm sure he's just worried about what people will think. He seems like the kind of guy to be worried about it." Hillary says absent mindedly but the paleness of Amanda's face brings her attention back to consoling the girl and not instilling fear.

"Why would he worry about that? He was just giving me a hug." She says with little confidence. Her heart sinks when she watches as Josh lowers his head into his hands. "He is probably regretting asking me to hang out."

"Or, most likely he is regretting telling you about Kyle. You said it yourself, he isn't a bad guy and he gave you a hug because he was sorry about hurting you. Personally, I think it is sweet. There is a new couple forming! Ooohhh, Jamanda? Too Jamaican… Amosh? That might work-"

Hillary talking on and on about how her and Josh are a new couple to have drama with is too much. She can't handle thinking about anything like that. "Stop it Hillary! Josh and I are not going to be the next couple. We are just friends and coworkers. I just don't know why he shoved me away."

"Why don't you ask him?" Hillary has a smile on her face that screams trouble. Amanda follows her eyes to watch as Josh makes his way over to them. "Oh, he looks nervous so definitely exploit that. He was a jerk to you so make him work for it."

Amanda shakes her head to Hillary's idea but the thought is already planted in her mind. She waits for Josh to talk but he just sends a glare Hillary's way. Hillary finally gets the hint and leaves, probably to eaves drop or tell Lori about it.

"I am so sorry about my behavior. I don't know what came over me." Josh shuffles his feet and stares at the counter. She wants to forgive him just because he said sorry and the pathetic look he has but the past year and a half has made her less forgiving and rougher.

"What happened? Does it really matter that much to you if we are seen hugging?" She can't help but bring up Hillary's argument. She watches as Josh lifts up his head and looks at her like she is crazy.

"No it wasn't that. I don't care about that. I – I can't tell you now but I will maybe tonight…" He stumbles over his words but has a hopeful look in his eyes towards the end. She knows he is lying but she allows him this one.

"You still want to?" She asks him hesitantly. She honestly thought that he was going to back out of it. She can feel herself fearing that he will. A night of doing nothing besides playing mind numbing video games did sound nice.

"Do you still want to?" He asks her back. She shifts on her feet and sets her hand on her waist, a clear sign for him to not answer a question of hers with another. She had enough of that with Kyle. "I'm sorry. Ummmm, if you still wanted to despite me being a jerk, I would like to." He gives her a hopeful little smile that makes any thought of making it more rough on him leave.

"Sure. We can do it at my house too." Amanda grimaces a little bit about the reason why her house is the place but she immediately removes it. And she is glad she did because as soon as she said yes, Josh's face lit up and he actually smiled. She is tempted to hug him again but that might result in more hurt feels maybe and she wants to be in the happy moment. _She _made him smile.

"Great. I can bust out my snack supplies and bring over the consol around 7. That okay?" She lets out a small giggle when Josh remains so timid like if he said anything with an absolute she might cancel it. She beams back at him as she answers.

"That would be great."

_Any opinions? _


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to the few people that review. And I hope those who don't appreciate this fic too even if they don't say so. ENJOY.**

Josh raced home after work got done. He was sweaty from cleaning up and he couldn't wait to clean up and get to Amanda's house. His parents thought something was wrong with him when he stated the reason for packing up his consol.

"You don't need to lie, Josh. We are here for you no matter what. And you don't need to get rid of anything that reminds you of Andy." His dad says carefully. Josh rolls his eyes.

"I am telling the truth. I am going over to Amanda's to show her how to kick ass on this game." He has already showered and he just ate some left over pizza for dinner. He nervously looks down at his watch and it reads 6:50 pm. Amanda is right next door so it wouldn't take any time to go but he couldn't leave now, he might seem to eager.

"He's telling the truth. Hillary told me everything. Apparently they were smiling at each other the whole time they worked after they made the plans." Lori walks into the living room and stares with her parents at his back. He can feel their eyes on him.

"Who has plans?" _Great, I'm sure this will be fun._ Kyle walked in and put on his childlike curious face. And sure enough, alien number 2 was right by his side. In fact, out of the corner of his eye Josh could see their hands joined together.

"Josh."

"Josh has plans?"

"Yeah."

"Since when?"

"Since he and Amanda decided to."

"What!?" Josh laughs as he looks at Kyle then Jessi. Kyle may not have contained that outburst so well. Immediately Jessi drops Kyle's hand. _Serves him right for being concerned with what is not his anymore._ Unfortunately someone caught his smirk.

"Josh!" His mom yells at him. He can feel the scowl on her face. But he can't seem to care, honestly; about what his mom, Kyle or anyone else thinks. He wants to get away from the incessant feeling in his house.

Standing up, experiencing an unusual wave of bravery, Josh puts on a mask and doesn't let his wavering thoughts show. He actually learned the face from Jessi.

"I am tired of being under all of your scrutiny when your own lives need to be seriously looked at. Mom and dad, you two need to relinquish any delusion of control over our lives now that we are growing up and think about getting a hobby besides interfering with our lives. Lori. Just get a hobby besides putting yourself where you don't belong because when you do, you just look overbearing and like a loner." After staring down his family members, he turns to the extended family.

"Kyle. You chose Jessi so you have to let go any thoughts that Amanda still is yours to protect as anything else other than a friend. If a guy, like me, wants to hang out with her you can't pretend that Jessi's feelings don't exist or she can push them away even she might pretend to, and go try to interfere. And Jessi… ummm how about stop trying to control Kyle? He may have been going between you and Amanda but now he's chosen you so you need to make him see why that was the right choice. Good day."

With his rant over and his family obviously stunned Josh picks up his bag of treats and his gaming system and walks out the door. As soon as he walked five steps towards Amanda's house he knew he screwed up. He really has to stop saying everything that comes to his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

**BAM! Another update so soon. Please tell me what you think. **

Amanda is pacing. Like actually walking up and down nervously, thinking about if Josh was going to come. It's not Josh she is nervous about; it's the idea of a guy besides Kyle coming over to her house and trying to get to know her.

And just like that, the doorbell rings. She immediately stops pacing and tries to get to the door before her mother but her mom is too quick. She stands quietly under the living room entry way, intent on watching Josh's interaction with her mom.

"Amanda I brought- oh why hello Mrs. Bloom. I don't suppose Amanda is here?" Josh says quite hopefully. Amanda smiles when she realizes this is Josh's way of toying with her mother. But her mom is not having any of it.

"Another Traeger at my doorstep." Her mom purses her lips at the thought. This is the moment she has been so curious to see. Josh could either be playful or sarcastic or polite or maybe rude.

"I promise Mrs. Bloom that I will do nothing besides make your daughter forget about my brother with a night filled with candy and video games. I am nothing like Kyle and you can take that anyway you want but I would like to see Amanda. Is she here?" Josh's response astonishes her, in a good way. He was charming in a weird stand-up-for-myself kind of way. He was definitely not like Kyle and she found herself grinning.

She steps out of the slight shadowy room and walks behind her mom. "I'm here Josh. Let's go up to my room and get set up. I got a TV out of the basement just for the occasion." She feels all the nervousness just melt away when she realizes how excited she is.

"Amanda." The way he breathes her name gives her shivers and suddenly everything Hillary said came rushing back. Slightly shaking her head to push away those ridiculous thoughts, she reaches past her mom, who is still surprised as well by the address, and grabs Josh by his hand. She drags him past her mom and up the stairs. Her heart starts beating rapidly at the feeling of holding his hand and knowing she is leading him to her bedroom. Somehow she can't seem to let go.

"Keep the door open!" Her mom shouts last minute as they reach her room. She feels her cheeks heat up and she knows she is blushing. When they walk into her room, she can sense Josh's eyes on her. She turns around and finds Josh staring at her. He immediately looks away but glances at their hands. If it wasn't for her own embarrassment, she would have sworn that Josh blushed. Amanda lets their hands fall apart.

"Well this is my room. Do you want to set up the game while I get us some water for the snacks?" Her voice wavers as she tries to control whatever she was feeling in the moment before.

"Sure." His voice was low and his hazel eyes were focused on setting up everything. She finally saw what Andy had probably seen all along; the determination of a boy who is used to people not seeing what he is capable of. Her heart skips a beat but she ignores it and walks downstairs to get water.

"Honey?" Her mom calls out to her. She can feel her muscles tense; ready to hear what her mom will say what is wrong with Josh. Amanda walks into the kitchen and sees her mom holding two water glasses, looking expectantly at her.

"So? What do you think of him?" The suspense is building up inside her. She doesn't know why it is that big of deal to her to get her mom to like Josh. Her mom examines her up and down before handing her the glasses.

"So help me god, if that boy hurts you like his brother I will permanently ban you from any of the Traeger's. But he seems like a good boy, better than Kyle at least. I may warm up to him." The idea that Josh is better than Kyle makes her stifle a laugh but she takes what she can get and quickly escapes.

The night went smoothly. Amanda's mom barely checked in on them… from what he noticed. And Amanda was getting used to playing on a controller. Every now and then she would yell out a darn or a damn it when she messed up and it made her look even more adorable. He found himself actually smiling and laughing at her attempts to kill him. Somehow they found themselves sitting side by side on her bed and the time slipping away. He tried to keep an eye on the time so that he could judge when a good time to go home was but it got away from him. It was midnight and they were still at it.

"Come on! I could have so killed that guy if you hadn't distracted me." Amanda says, laughing slightly. He glances at her with an inquisitive look.

"I distract you, huh? How? Because I wasn't doing this." Josh sends his hands towards her body and tickles her mercilessly. He had no idea if Amanda was ticklish or if she would let him but he tried anyway. Josh beamed when he found her most ticklish spot, which was right underneath where her ribs ended, but as soon as he found that he got a hard elbow to the stomach. It knocked the wind out of him and he instantly stopped tickling her. He tried to catch his breath but nothing would come. It started to freak him out. He leaned over and let himself tip over onto his side. Closing his eyes, Josh tries to focus on getting air in but nothing is working. He opens his eyes and finds a very concerned Amanda staring at him.

"Are you okay?" She says with fear lacing her voice. Josh nods and finally feels air reach his lungs. He gasps as the feeling of being able to breathe spreads. He lets a small smile slip out when he sees Amanda let out a sigh of relief. He tries to sit up but he grows dizzy when he does so he shakes his head to Amanda when she asked if he could sit up.

"I am so sorry. I didn't even know that spot existed and it startled me." She blushes slightly and Josh finds that even cuter. When that thought crosses his mind, a blaring red light goes off. He knows it went off a while ago when they had started moving closer together but this was a flashing warning. It is getting dangerously personal and bordering on something he would have to ask Kyle if it was okay. _Kyle is probably listening to this whole evening with Jessi pathetically letting him._

Suddenly he feels the bed shift and soon his body is being pulled up towards the pillows. His mind is shouting for him to stop whatever is going on between him and Amanda but something else is making him ignore that. The pulling stops and his head is lowered onto a very comfy pillow. He glances up and is pleasantly surprised that Amanda is his pillow… well not all of her, just her lap. And he is not thinking about anything sexual because this is Amanda.

"It's okay. I- I probably needed that. I've been a jerk today." He admits, thinking about how he treated his family and her. His nose crinkles up when he feels her long wavy hair touch his face. His heart races when he hears her laugh at his expression. _Keep it under control, Traeger. You got this._ Josh chuckles, very aware of how the voice inside of his head reminds him of Declan.

"You just have had a hard time. And besides, if you weren't so moody to begin with this wouldn't have happened because you wouldn't have had the need to do this." Amanda's eyes search his eyes, for something she might have missed, and for once he lets her see some of his pain. The recognition, shock then sympathy race across her features and he can't make himself look at what is probably next: pity. So he stares at the TV as it just shows the replay of all their moves.

"I have a mustache." Josh impulsively grabs Amanda's hair tendrils lightly and puts them on his face like he has blond facial hair. He knows it is his defense barrier to tease and play but he can't stop it. He is scared of everything that is happening. He glances back at Amanda and realizes his attempt to be funny has pulled her face closer to his. The personal space has vastly been violated to where everything they do is shared. He immediately lets go of the hair and watches carefully as Amanda's head slowly lifts farther away from him.

"Josh. What happened?" Her eyes plead with him to tell the truth and he can't lie to her. He can see why Kyle was so enthralled with Amanda because he is quickly finding himself wanting more.

"I kind of yelled at my family about all the stuff that annoys me and I am afraid that I screwed up this time." He feels his eyes sting but he quickly brushes that off. He has to be strong and not let anything slip or else he is going to be a big mess and probably say a lot of stuff he shouldn't.

Her heart aches when she sees Josh struggling for composure. She wants to do anything to help him but he doesn't want her to because he is fighting himself and her.

"You have a family who loves you no matter what and understands you are still hurting. I am sure they will understand." Amanda tries to comfort Josh but realizes nothing she is doing is working. Taking a deep breath, she gathers enough courage to push the boundaries already being tested. She slowly drags her hand over Josh's hair and begins to rub his head along with playing with his hair. She learned that guys like the feeling from Lori. She always thought she would be playing with Kyle's hair though.

As soon as she starts, she can feel Josh tense up for a moment. He is probably as unsure about what they are doing as she is. But as she continues to massage his head, she feels him relax and watches as he closes his eyes. With his defenses temporary lowered, she notices the frown lines, and the darker shade of skin underneath his eyes that are a sign of lack of sleep.

"Amanda." He breathes out her name again and her breath hitches. It didn't sound anything like the way Kyle said her name, or any other guy. It is filled with sadness, relief, and need. The last one scared her the most. Well not the fact that he needed her but the feeling of hope and a nervous pit in her stomach as a reaction to it. He could probably feel her breathing become slower and more controlled. She wanted to make sure this was real, that what was happening was real and it wasn't going to disappear.

**_It is getting intense. Don't worry, it won't turn into a creepy M fic but the next chapter will be why it is T rated. _**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the lack of updates but here is the last chapter. I hope you enjoy. PLEASE REVIEW! :)**

She watches as his eyes slowly flutter open and find hers. Something had changed in them. She could see the way he was looking at her differently. She probably could guess hers reflected the exact same look because he reaches up and gently outlines her jaw. Amanda gives him a shy smile and he smiles back. Her breathing nearly stops when his hand makes its way to her hair and starts playing with it. His hazel eyes are trained on the loose piece he is handling. She is captivated by the focus and the way his eyes sparkle when he does.

Josh sees Amanda glance at his lips. His heart is beating rapidly. He shouldn't be having this moment with her. She is Kyle's ex and one that Kyle probably isn't totally over. But he can't stop staring at her eyes and her lips. He can feel her own nervousness because her breathing is rapid as well. And then the thought enters his mind: _Kiss her._ Somehow it isn't as scary to think that. He is actually excited to think about his lips on hers, and a plan quickly forms in his head. He trails his hand from her jaw to hair and starts to twirl it around, deciding whether this is worth it to try. But then again, when has thinking ever worked out for him?

Slowly and carefully, he starts to pull the hair closer to him and as a result Amanda's face comes closer to him. By now he is taking short, quiet breaths to see if this really happening. He looks back to Amanda and finds that adorable confused look on her face. Smiling, he drags the hair over his lip.

"I have a mustache." He says so quietly that he can barely hear himself but he knows she heard him because her face lights up with laughter. He wants to make her laugh as many times as he can. Right as he is about to say something else to get her closer, Amanda opens her mouth to speak.

"There is something on your mustache." Amanda's voice is quiet too but not as shy. Josh's curiosity is peaked and he peeks down to try to see if anything was on it but there was nothing.

"No there is-" He is shut up by the feeling of her lips on his. It felt wrong, wonderful, and amazing all at the same time. He glanced up and saw that Amanda's eyes were closed, probably trying to enjoy it so he decided to also. Like Kyle said, with his other senses blocked the nerves in his lips amplified and it made the kiss seem even more amazing. His heart skips a beat when he instinctively sucks at her bottom lip and he feels her mouth opening to let him. And as soon as Amanda's tongue swipes across his lips, something unexpected occurs. The natural reaction his body is used to, happened and he hopes to god she won't look up and see it but he can't take that risk. So, even though his heart breaks, Josh nibbles lightly on her tongue before sealing off the kiss.

"Why'd you stop?" She is out of breath and is slightly panting but she doesn't care. That was one of the most wonderful kisses she has had. Kyle was never that bold. Her eyes search Josh's face for something wrong, like she made a wrong move. She was feeling unusually bold today, she did initiate the tongue kissing but he didn't reciprocate which did disappoint her.

Amanda watches Josh carefully as he sits up and immediately grabs a pillow. She follows the pillow and finally understands as he puts it around his… area. She blushes profusely and turns her head up towards the ceiling. She lets out an awkward chuckle.

"I- I haven't had contact like that in over a month. My body kind of got out of control there. Sorry." Josh's voice is quiet and she can tell he is trying to not seem embarrassed but he is. Heck, even she is. She can feel his eyes looking at her but she can't make herself look down. It would shatter the moment when she knows he is going to say that it shouldn't have happened because they are both a mess. As reality settles in, Amanda's eyes start to sting a little but she takes a deep breath and holds strong. She has to; he isn't going to hurt her.

She hears the bed shift around and she fears that Josh might have left but the bed dips towards her.

"What are you-" She is instantly stopped in her tracks when Josh's lips graze over her neck. She shutters and feels butterflies in her stomach. His soft lips put more pressure on her neck as he begins to kiss gently and works his way up to her jaw. Her breathing by now is ragged and shallow, and something stirs lower than it should be but she ignores that. She can't go there.

Her eyes flutter shut for a moment but then curiosity takes over and she glances down to see that Josh is kneeling right in front of her. Her neck is getting tired of staring up so she turns to the left so Josh can continue leaving a trail of kisses. She has never had this done before and it feels incredible. Not being able to contain it anymore, Amanda lets out a small mew of appreciation. She feels Josh chuckle during his kisses. Slowly his lips get closer and closer. She waits in anticipation as Josh kisses the corner of her mouth. When he pulls back, she watches as he licks his lips and it sends tingles everywhere. Right as he is leaning in, her brain makes her stop him by putting her hands on his shoulders. His eyes were in a fog but now clear up and look at her questioningly.

"What are we doing?" Her confidence disappears as the hurt from previous relationships show. His eyes soften and he lets out a small chuckle.

"I don't know." Well that statement ruined the mood. She shifts around so that Josh is no longer that close to her. She knows she is blaring the party-pooper vibe but her mind won't let her heart get broken.

"I need to know because if we continue like this, I know I will get used to it and grow to love it but I can't do that not knowing if there are any doubts or reasons why we shouldn't." Now her heart is beating quickly with fear, not lust. She averts her eyes from looking at his. He grabs her hands which causes her to look at him.

"I don't know what we are doing but I do know that I like it. I know that I haven't felt like this since Andy left and I know that I am probably taking advantage of you so we should probably stop." His voice dies down at the end, clearly he too is upset that it has to stop but he leans in and plants a chaste kiss on her lips. She closes her eyes and tries to enjoy the kiss even though it is bitter sweet. After a too short of kiss for her liking, Josh gently separates from her by scooting to the end of the bed. He blushes when he finally takes the pillow off of himself.

"So what do we do now?" She asks softly. She is afraid of the answer but the worse is over. Josh's head lifts up from his slouching position and he smiles kindly at her.

"We wait until you and I are okay again from our respective breakups." His eyes have a slight twinkle in them that lets her know he has a plan and is determined. She smiles back at him, finally realizing he is stopping because he wants something more than a broken hearted girl.

"But that might be a while…" Amanda counters back, waiting to see if he is willing to wait for her. He shakes his head slightly.

"I will be there every step of the way helping you so when that day comes we are both ready for whatever we have." Josh stops smiling for a second. "I couldn't start something right now, knowing that you won't have all of me because I still miss Andy. But I promise, I will get over her." He looks at the clock and it reads 1 am. She sees the time too and realizes her mom will be coming in any moment to send Josh home anyway. So she slides off her bed and stands up as Josh does the same. They both walk quietly and slowly down the stairs and linger by the door.

"And I promise that I will get over him. But I need your help to do that, okay?" The vulnerability of the moment is getting to her nerves but she can't stop, not now after they are making progress. Josh casts an egotistical smile her way, one that reminds her of the real Josh, and chuckles.

"I am sure my killer hugs will do us both some good. Flirting might help us too." His eyes sparkle with mischief. She laughs gently too. He always knows how to lighten the mood.

"Really? Because last time I checked, coworker flirtations were strictly forbidden."

"You have to talk to the manager about that one. Maybe if you-"

"Do this?" Amanda interrupts Josh's statement with a kiss. She feels him smile through the kiss. They separate and both lean back against the door frame on different sides.

"I think the manager will allow it. Just for you though. No one else can, that would be sexual harassment." She raises an eyebrow, entertained by where Josh was heading with their third person scenario.

"I suggest you go home Josh. Your parents must be worried." Her mom is suddenly right there, in the middle of them. Josh smiles shyly and nods. He strolls off her porch and reaches the gate before turning around.

"See you around Amanda." He says it with such sincerity and hope that even her mom just lets a slight smile reach her face before going back to the seemingly permanent scowl. They both watch as he walks home.

"Come inside and go to bed. You have work tomorrow." The mention of work and therefore maybe seeing Josh brings a smile to her face. Amanda happily goes back inside her house to dream of the possibilities. She can't wait to see what Josh blurts out next.

**_So what did you think? Please tell me your thoughts and opinions..._**


End file.
